Music, lyrics, thoughts, mindless rambling at your fingertips.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Year of Our Discontent

Just wrote this.


Oh and though you are breaking me
I just can’t let go
You received all my longing
I took all the stories you told
The spring was a year ago
And I think I knew you then
But the winter is cold and long
It’s made strangers of us and all that we’ve known

Beneath my smile I hid the defiance I never did show
Beneath your words the complication you wanted me to know
But those webs are always invisible
We had no idea of the trap until caught in something tangible
A push and shove of impatience and reality
A two way street shut down indefinitely
With one way in, one way out
We crashed head on and headlights glared
Showed us the imperfections we always knew were there
As I worried about your heart we found who really cares
You found I really care

Sunday, August 30, 2009

How This Heart Bleeds

Just written in the last 20 minutes.


I’ve got a broken spirit and a loneliness to tame
Absolutely no way to transcend these blues
I’ve got the deepest sorrows and a mind full of blame
Holding a deep down truth I can’t send to you

Hold my tongue, suppress my views
But I can’t stop telling you I want you
Worst of all is this need
The most I’ve ever seen a heart bleed
To witness it is bad enough
To be the victim is most fucked up

Strong and brave
Be strong and brave
The weight of another drags me to my grave
I wish I believed that
I really do
Would be easier to get over you
I've tried these lies to deceive myself
But I'm still searchin' for a whole lotta help

I’ve got a broken spirit and a loneliness to tame
Absolutely no way to transcend these blues
I’ve got the deepest sorrows and a mind full of blame
Holding a deep down truth I can’t send to you

Hold my tongue, suppress my views
But I can’t stop telling you I want you
Worst of all is this need
The most I’ve ever seen a heart bleed
To witness it is bad enough
To be the victim is most fucked up

Worst of all is how this heart bleeds
I’m no witness, that’s bad enough
I’m the pathetic victim, I’m fucked up
Yeah, worst of all is how this heart bleeds
Worst of all is that this heart bleeds

Friday, August 28, 2009

Push & Shove (To Give My Love)

Something I jotted down pretty quickly last night. Inspired by one line from a Lindsey Buckingham song.



Never knew someone so willing to lose until I met you
Got to keep a cover on that wild, wild heart
Could lose the best love of your time
You might never know because you’re buckled in tight
The parachute’s on and you’re holding on for dear life
Every danger amplified
The sweetest little kitten is a tiger in your eyes
The shortest jump is the longest fall before you’ve even tried

And I’m left to fight
I’m left to crawl
I’m left to push and shove to give you my love at all

One mistake and I’m the devil in disguise
Subconscious beast, my sweet demise
What I’ve done I’ll forever regret
And you’re never gonna let me forget
But I’ve got the desire of the worst kind
I haven’t given up
No not quite, not yet

So I’m left to fight
I’m left to crawl
I’m left to push and shove to give you my love at all
Oh, to give my love at all

Never knew someone so willing to lose 'til I met you
Got to keep a cover on that wild, wild heart
Could lose the best love of your life

Oh, I’m left to fight
Left to crawl
Gonna lose the best love of all
Maybe the worst, something in between
How ya gonna know if you’re unwilling to fall

Yeah, gonna lose the best love of all
Well, could be the worst or something in between
How ya gonna know if you’re unwilling to fall

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Journal Entry

Written on 7/19/2009 just now. Not sure if it's finished, but I just want to post.


Here I am writing again
Only during the highest of highs
Or the lowest of lows
When I’ve got the full moon fever
The shakes and the sighs
Grab the pen and the paper
Now I just need your ear
It’s probably about you
So it’s something you should hear

I’m either confessing my love or maybe my pain
It could be both regardless I’m doing it again
But now you know that you’re my muse
The fuse is lit, I’ve got my excuse
A new song becomes a new journal entry
If I’m gonna write I’m gonna let the whole world see
Yeah, if I’m gonna write I’m gonna let the whole world see
But until the execs come a-knockin’ it’s you that will be my critic too
One day the whole world will know it’s about you

I’m gonna sit here
I’m gonna drink my wine
I’m gonna wish and hope some lyrics can save my life
Isn’t it romantic that I’m doing this?
A song written about you, isn’t that your wish?
Because it’s just what I need
Another serious, sad, ego-feeding love confession

But now you know that you’re my muse
The fuse is lit, I’ve got my excuse
But now you know that you’re my muse
The fuse is lit, I’ve got my excuse

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I met Bruce Springsteen!

And I took this photo with my camera. I was lucky enough to snap the photo in Tulsa, OK. My first show of the Working On A Dream Tour. It wasn't my dream meeting by any chance, but at least it occurred. I told him I went to quite a few shows on the Magic Tour, and that out of all the shows St. Louis was my favorite. So, I questioned when he would tour Missouri again. I got the obvious Bruce giggle and, "Well, we always get there eventually," or some similar answer. I then blurted out, "But it took six years last time!" Oops.

I hope you aren't tired of Bruce pics from LA





LA: 4/15 and 4/16





Yet more LA pictures





More Bruce in LA





Bruce Springsteen: LA 4/15/09 and 4/16/09







The first photo was taken by a friend near me. All photos taken with my phone.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Wadi Rum Sunrise

Jordan 2007. Beautiful sunrise at Wadi Rum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr2QGEnrJoE

Sunday, November 2, 2008

If I Got Something Good (update w/ audio)

Someone at a Pearl Jam board I post at likes my lyrics and used some of them set to music along with him singing. Check it out here:
http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=ef7e232153e0045dab1eab3e9fa335ca5b7955ff9adfa398

I posted the full lyrics not too many posts back. And here are the lyrics used in the song:

Something about your eyes
The way they shine
Something about your body
The way it presses against mine
It all feels so right
It all feels a little too good
Sure not going to last
And I have learned
If I got something good it’s gonna end soon

I got a big empty hole and nothing to show
I got a big empty hole and you’re a friend in this world
I have so many friends
I need you to be more…

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Speak Easy (Speak Nothing)

Again, more.



Speak easy, speak nothing
Speak a million words in a million ways
Speak it all to me without solving the problems we see
Speak it all but we’ll say nothing
In a tangled mess all your big words from your tattered dictionary
Flow from your mouth to my head and you think I need an explanation
Only if it’s of your complication because I own a dictionary too
And I’ve read it through and through and once again just to discern

But I’ve figured if you speak nothing, I mean really speak nothing
Maybe I’ll die, I’ll let my feelings die
Maybe this tie of all connections we have will break off and float to the sky
I’ll speak easy of a love from the past
I’ll be old, but it won’t last
I’ll see options, so many that I‘ll have, but I won’t make them my opportunity
For something else to have but not have, to love and not stop
And be hurt again
No thank you, I’m done with that ball and chain

But I can pretend, I can climb the mountain, from the top I can shout
Be easy, be free, look at me, but I’ll just speak nothing, I won’t be free
I’ll just imagine that you weren’t for me
You say if I want the best, go love the rest
But not the one that isn’t good enough, but settle, please settle
You must find love though it’s not everything
And you must settle, baby, please settle
Best and settle don’t sound habitual, not together side by side
So I’m confused just a little and this is how nothing is spoken
Contradictions and round about ways to show your affection is a token

Speak easy, speak nothing
Speak a million words in a million ways
Speak it all to me without solving the problems we see
Speak it all but we’ll say nothing
In a tangled mess all your big words from your tattered dictionary
Flow from your mouth to my head and you think I need an explanation
Only if it’s of your complication because I own a dictionary too
And I’ve read it through and through and once again just to discern

But I’ve figured if you speak nothing, I mean really speak nothing
Maybe I’ll die, I’ll let my feelings die

Anyone Can Tire Of This

Another one.




Knock, knock
You say who’s there
I say open up
Let me show you I care
I’ve walked alone
It’s a thin line
This solitude can wear down over time
Anyone can tire of this
Anyone can tire of this

Hello. Hello
Excuse me while
I feel sorrow
Pick me up
Show me tomorrow
Don’t break my heart tonight

Anyone can tire of this (loneliness)
Anyone can tire of this (loneliness)

Is this way right
‘Cause my heart says it is
If I cry
Will it wash away your fear
Ah, my dear

Oh, don’t break my heart tonight
I won’t break your heart anytime
Don’t break my heart anytime
Don’t…not now

This solitude can wear thin over time
Anyone can tire of this
Anyone can tire of this

Anyone can tire of this (loneliness)
Anyone can tire of this (loneliness)

Silent Screaming

And more...




I found you there
Standing by the door
You were smiling silently
Looking down where
I could not read your thoughts
But I could see
You were thinking
And I wondered what about
You started moving closer now
Nothing out of the ordinary
That’s where I wish it would stop
One day what you think
Will come out on top
Until then we must be content
Walk in circles until we are spent

Dance with me please
This dance of sweet misery

A movement of the hand
It grabs my attention
Sitting next to me you don’t realize
That each movement holds my breathing
I’m sitting here and I’m wishing
That these few minutes will last forever
The touch of your body against mine
Sitting together and you probably don’t even recognize
That existing here only for these minutes with you
That would suit me just fine
Sitting there without a sound
Only the creaking of the house
And the breathing of me and you
But I realize we aren’t alone
And as the shadows fall I start to sigh
I tried to say what is on my mind
Too many people crowded around
Waiting for the news to spill on out

They see, the trees see
The birds and the bees see
All know that we know
And the dance is sweet
But my brain’s tired and so are my feet

Song For You

More writing from me.



I wanna watch you dream
Wanna watch you dream, mmm
Tell you the truth
This song is for you

I wanna know you love
Wanna know you love, yeah
Let me know you feel
Cause this song is for real

I wanna feel your touch
Wanna feel your touch, mmm
Guess I want too much
Sure I’ve said enough now

But this is me
I feel and I breathe
I break and I bleed
And I sing this for you

I try to let go
But if it’s working
It’s hopelessly slow
And doesn’t stop my dreaming

I wanna watch you dream
Wanna watch you dream, mmm
Tell you the truth
This song is for you

I wanna know you love
Want you to know my love, yeah